Is It Wrong to Say Suicide? How “Unalive” Is Warping Mental-Health Dialogue

What does “unalive” mean?

Scroll TikTok for “unalive meaning” and you’ll see creators deliberately masking talk of suicide behind slang. That practice, algospeak, uses code words to evade automated moderation. ^[3] Code words like “unalive”, “seggs”, and “unal1ve”.

Like other euphemisms, it promises safety from demonetization on social media platforms, yet silently shifts labor onto audiences who must decode slang before they can find help.

How harmful can it be to avoid using words like suicide?

The Seattle Times posted an article claiming that experts say that using unalive online could make for more meaningful discussions among youths, giving them a sense of community and trust they couldn’t have with adults who use the words suicide or kill.

However, when a young person types unalive into a social media search bar, algorithms many times return jokes, memes, vague advice, or peer commentary, while evidence-based crisis resources remain buried. Unlike the term suicide, which can trigger automated outreach or moderation tools, euphemisms frequently bypass safeguards designed to connect users with support. This subtle shift in language can create a meaningful delay in access to help.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Savana Howe explains the potential harm that may be caused by replacing the word suicide with other language:

Avoiding the word suicide in conversations, especially in online spaces, can be very problematic. When we dance around the actual term, we risk minimizing the seriousness of what someone is experiencing. It can make people feel even more isolated, like their pain is too taboo or dangerous to talk about. Plus, it disrupts search algorithms, so if someone types suicide help or suicidal thoughts , they might not find the resources they urgently need. ^[16]

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Medical advisor

Dr. Savana Howe

Psy.D.

Viewed through an ethical lens, we can assess this situation using four foundational touchstones:

• Respecting autonomy, our ability to make informed choices, means providing clear information; euphemisms only cloud that clarity.
• Beneficence calls on us to promote well-being—yet coded language can inadvertently steer people away from reliable, evidence-based support.
• Non-maleficence (“do no harm”) is undercut when bots scanning suicide miss unalive, delaying outreach.
• Justice calls for equal access—not everyone deciphers the code, and inequity creates barriers.

Dr. Louis E. Costello of Dynatech had this to add:

Replacing the word suicide with euphemisms like unaliving confuses clarity for safety. It does not protect the vulnerable, but protects the platforms.

Language sanitization turns mental health into code and secrecy, which is exactly the environment in which suicidal ideation festers. I do not mean that every mention of the word needs to be blasted across public threads. I mean the complete removal of the actual term from digital visibility breaks the directness that can save a person’s life. When someone is Googling how to survive a mental crisis at 3 AM and nothing pulls up because they used the real word, that is a tech failure, not a content moderation success.

Calling it stigmatizing is missing the real damage. It is not a stigma to say suicide. It is a stigma to force people to whisper it. Suicide prevention is not about hiding words; it is about giving people words strong enough to cut through despair. Sanitizing this vocabulary tells users they are too dangerous for their own language, and that makes self-disclosure feel shameful or punishable. Euphemisms are for taboo topics.

Suicide is not taboo! It is medical. It is preventable. And it is real! ^[17]

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Medical advisor

Dr. Louis E. Costello

Board-Certified Child, Adolescent & Adult Psychiatrist

Counter arguement

However, this view is not shared by everyone. Some schools of thought suggest that the language used to discuss suicide is inconsequential to the broader mission of getting help to those who need it. Dr. Ryan Egan, a psychologist with experience helping teens and children with depression, shares his thoughts:

Let me couch my comments by starting with how I understand suicide. The Interpersonal Theory of Suicide is probably the most dominant theory today, and posits that suicidal behavior primarily happens through the interplay of two major factors: Hopelessness and Acquired Capability. Hopelessness has to do with a sense of Perceived Burdensomeness (i.e., I am a burden) and Thwarted Belongingness (i.e.,I am alone ). Acquired Capability has to do with how one overcomes the natural fear of death and becomes capable of killing oneself (e.g., becoming habituated to painful/scary experiences through experiences like combat, abuse, prior self-harm, etc.).

Through the lens of this theory, we can make some educated guesses about the use of terms like unaliving. First, making linguistic substitutes so that users can talk about their struggles in a way that gets past content filters may 1) have a positive impact on Thwarted Belongingness (i.e., I am not alone) and 2) have a neutral impact on Acquired Capability (i.e., talking about suicide is not known to significantly reduce one's fear of death or pain). As for concerns that euphemisms might make light of suicide, there's little evidence that changing the language in this way meaningfully increases risk by lowering fear or seriousness.

Bottom line: If someone opens up about suicidal thoughts, whether online or in person, focus less on their word choice and more on helping them feel heard, valued, and loved. Listening with compassion can go a long way. And when in doubt, encourage them to connect with a mental health professional or call a crisis line. You shouldn't have to handle it alone. ^[18]

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Medical advisor

Dr. Ryan Egan

Ph.D.

Pushback on “unalive” culture

Kurt Cobain’s plaque isn’t the only pushback against this phenomenon. Even though TikTok’s policy allows factual, non-graphic discussions of suicide when paired with helpline links, creators still hesitate. As reported by Wired, Amelia Tait found that many continue using unalive out of fear of demonetization, reduced reach, or shadowbans. ^[6]

Habit and financial incentives keep the evasive slang alive.

Moreover, in 2019, Prianka Padmanathan, a clinical academic in psychiatry at the University of Bristol, led a study examining how language shapes discussions around suicide. She surveyed just under 3,000 individuals with personal experience of suicide and asked them to evaluate the acceptability of various terms. ^[9]

The study found that phrases like “attempted suicide”, “took their own life”, “died by suicide”, and “ended their life” were rated as the most appropriate for describing both fatal and nonfatal suicidal behavior. ^[9]

Is it stigmatizing language?

The word suicide itself is not stigmatizing. Leading mental health organizations recommend using clear, factual language. However, terms that imply judgment or intent, such as “commit suicide” (which echoes criminality) or “successful attempt”, should be avoided.

Dr. Howe had this to add:

Terms like unaliving emerged as a workaround to avoid content bans, but they can reinforce stigma by signaling that the word suicide is too offensive or shameful to say. That kind of avoidance fuels the idea that suicidal thoughts are something to be hidden, rather than talked about openly and compassionately. It’s the digital equivalent of whispering or avoiding eye contact when someone says they’re struggling — and it doesn’t help anyone. ^[16]

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Medical advisor

Dr. Savana Howe

Psy.D.

Whether euphemisms like unalive are stigmatizing depends on the context. Some argue they soften difficult conversations, while others suggest they obscure reality and reinforce stigma.

• The UK’s Mental Health Foundation warns that stigma “can delay or stop people from getting help” ^[10]
• Healthdirect Australia notes that euphemisms can cause confusion and shame, which “sometimes stop people from asking for help” ^[11]
• Everymind Australia emphasizes that vague language “keeps suicide in the shadows”, making it harder for people to reach out for support ^[12]

These insights suggest that clarity, not coded language, helps break stigma and encourages help-seeking.

How to communicate openly and directly about mental health

• Ask directly: “Are you thinking about suicide?” shows readiness to help, and research confirms it does not increase risk; it often brings relief. ^[13]
• Pair honesty with hope: Use the term suicide alongside compassionate offers and crisis resources.
• Elevate lived experience: The recovery-focused narratives model helps in seeking and reducing isolation.
• Work with the algorithm: Use #SuicidePrevention, the clinical term, and helpline links. Platforms now favor context-rich content.

Dr. Howe echoes the need for direct communication around suicide and mental health:

We need to normalize using clear, respectful, and accurate language — including words like depression, anxiety, and yes, suicide. We can model this in the way we talk and write, especially online: If you're feeling suicidal, you’re not alone. Here's a number you can call. Platforms and creators should advocate for responsible moderation that protects users without silencing essential conversations. And in everyday life, creating a culture of openness means checking in, listening without judgment, and reminding people it’s okay to say the hard things out loud. ^[16]

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Medical advisor

Dr. Savana Howe

Psy.D.

Why some creators still cling to “unalive”

Early demonetization policies left a legacy of caution; many creators maintain "unalive" out of habit or fear. However, studies in corporate communications show that euphemism usage in general correlates with lower audience trust and even negative abnormal stock returns when companies obscure risk in earnings calls. ^[14][15]

Bottom line

Unalive may feel gentle or savvy, but evidence and ethics demand clarity. Naming suicide directly, while coupling it with empathy, lived-experience insight, and crystal-clear resources, honors those affected and chips away at the silence that sustains despair.

Crisis resources

If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, help is available 24/7:

• U.S.: 911 (Emergency) • 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)
• UK & ROI: 999 (Emergency) • 116 123 (Samaritans)
• Australia: 000 (Emergency) • 13 11 14 (Lifeline)
• South Africa: 10112 (Emergency) • 0800 567 567 (SADAG)
• France: 112 (Emergency) • 01 45 39 40 00 (Suicide Écoute)
• Hong Kong: 999 (Emergency) • 852 2382 0000 (The Samaritans)
• Mexico: 911 (Emergency) • 525 510 2550 (Línea de la Vida)
• South Korea: 112 (Emergency) • (02) 7158 6000 (Korean Suicide Prevention Center)