Supporting Loved Ones in Addiction Recovery

What is addiction recovery?

Addiction recovery refers to the arduous process of overcoming drug or alcohol abuse, with two main goals:

• Address the underlying causes of addiction.
• Help people achieve and maintain sobriety through healthy coping mechanisms.

To achieve these goals, the process of overcoming addiction entails three stages^[1]:

• Detoxification: People withdraw from the addictive substance.
• Rehabilitation: Patients go through a mix of counseling, behavioral therapy, and support groups.
• Maintenance: This stage involves ongoing support from loved ones and specific groups, such as AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) or NA (Narcotics Anonymous). People should also continue their counseling and medication according to their healthcare professionals’ advice.

Tips for helping a loved one in recovery

Support is invaluable to help your loved one recover from their addiction and regain control of their life.^[7] Here are some actionable tips.

1. Consult a therapist

While the person recovering from addiction will almost certainly be involved in some form of therapy such as cognitive behavioral therapy, it may be beneficial for you to attend therapy as well. This can help you cope through difficult times, learn how to be supportive, and explore your own emotions around the person's addiction.

2. Ensure you have the right support first

Helping someone navigate their addiction and the complex issues that caused it can be as mentally and physically draining for you as it is for them.^[3]

This journey for you both:

• Will evoke a range of stressful experiences and past traumas.
• Is an ongoing, long-term process.
• Requires dedication, patience, and empathy from all involved

Handling the addiction recovery process efficiently from your end allows you to remain a steadfast rock for the person you’re helping.

So, consider:

• Mental health therapy
• Support groups
• Getting additional support from your loved ones and friends^[3]

3. Learn more about substance addiction

Substance addiction is a difficult disorder.^[5] Your best intentions and love are not always enough to help people conquer dependency.

You should educate yourself to:

• Learn different ways of taking drugs, such as snorting, injecting, or boofing, so you can identify if they have been using again
• Identify signs of substance use disorder
• Learn their triggers
• Hone your language and interactions
• Empower yourself with effective tools (i.e., planning, menial activities, or cognitive behavioral therapy)

4. Make a plan

People in recovery thrive in structured environments and often require plans and organization to navigate their recovery.

So, based on your own therapy and research, you can help your loved one make a solid recovery plan. You can help them:

• Structure their days so they avoid unoccupied periods, from waking up to meal prepping.
• Find the right support groups and programs according to their needs.
• Find activities and interests that redirect their urges into constructive behaviors.
• Become empowered through reading, helping others, or developing new skills.

5. Don’t force anything

Even if you have the best intentions, it’s essential not to force anything.

• Avoid manipulative language such as, “If you really loved me, you would give it up.”
• Don’t trick them with surprise visits to a psychologist.
• Don’t organize interventions.
• Don’t yell, cry, or beg.
• Don’t persist.
• Don’t remind them about their past.

According to former substance users,^[10] confrontations are effective when they:

• Come from trustworthy, important people
• Occur in the early stages of recovery, particularly after an intense event
• Offer hope
• Offer practical help

Helping a partner in recovery

Helping a partner in recovery is different from simply being a supportive friend or family member.^[8]

• You have different dynamics: Sharing a home can be more challenging, but it also gives you more insights into their cravings, triggers, and strategies to avoid relapse.
• You play a more significant role: You may have to attend support groups or therapy sessions together.
• Couple relationships may add to the difficulty: A non-judgmental and empathetic approach is essential, but it may be tougher on you both.

Helping a teen in recovery

When helping a teen in recovery, you must pay attention to:

• Age-specific challenges: Peer pressure and their developing sense of identity, accompanied by stubbornness, can make addiction recovery harder.
• Developmental stage: Teens’ brains are still developing,^[4] so you must offer them more sensitive recovery support. You need to be non-confrontational and ensure they have solid peer support.
• The other family members: Your teen’s recovery will affect their parents and siblings, who also need empathetic support.
• Trends: You must find out popular substances among teens and trends they take part in, such as the BORG drinking trend.

Helping a parent in recovery

Helping a parent in recovery has better outcomes by reinforcing abstinence.^[6] To maximize your results, consider:

• Role dynamics: You may need to bring them more proof and count on specialized help, especially if you are still perceived as the child.
• Communication style: Your parent may respond to another communication style. For example, a professional can convince them more effectively.
• Ingrained biases: Your parents might have specific biases regarding your relationship or substance abuse, particularly alcohol. They might not realize they have a problem in the first place.

Helping a friend in recovery

Friends in recovery might be easier to help because they are likelier to listen to you. And their situation evokes less personal trauma compared to a parent or child.

Still, consider:

• Friendship dynamics: Although your friends can be more open and honest than your teens, they can challenge your boundaries and privacy.
• Support style: While your partner or teen may need you to take on practical responsibilities, supporting a friend might entail limiting yourself to emotional support.
• Confidentiality: Friends may have different expectations around privacy, so be clear about what information you can and cannot share.