Pornography addiction involves compulsive and uncontrolled use of pornography, sometimes with detrimental consequences. People trying to overcome a porn addiction may face many of the same challenges as other types of addictions where they are likely to experience relapses throughout their recovery process, which can cause feelings of shame and embarrassment.
Recognizing your triggers and the signs and stages of relapse can help you prevent or manage potential relapse.
- Like any addiction, recovering from porn addiction can be a challenging process, during which it is possible to experience several relapses
- Some common porn addiction triggers might be specific to the individual’s sexual preferences, habits around porn use, or emotions relating to sexual activity. Learning how to recognize your triggers and the signs of each stage of relapse can help with implementing early prevention and coping strategies.
- Seeking and utilizing professional treatment can help prevent or manage relapse and associated issues
Porn addiction relapse
With any addiction, relapse is common during the recovery process. Porn addiction is no different in this sense. People attempting to overcome a porn addiction may struggle with triggers and cravings while trying to avoid using porn and can experience several relapses during recovery. [1]
Addiction relapse can cause negative emotions, including feelings of shame, guilt, and disappointment. This can be particularly true with porn addiction relapse, as there is often stigma associated with porn use. It is normal to experience these feelings and it can be helpful to reflect on them to help adapt coping strategies for returning to porn addiction recovery. [2][3]
Triggers can occur in any situation and are often linked to specific feelings or circumstances. For example, porn addiction triggers might be specific to the individual’s sexual preferences, habits around porn use, or emotions relating to sexual activity. Learning how to recognize your triggers can help you avoid or manage them so that you can prevent relapse from occurring. [4]
How to identify your triggers
To identify your triggers, you can think back to times in which you felt a strong desire to use porn and analyze the thoughts, feelings, and circumstances that preceded the action. You might find that there are several situations you find triggering, which can be linked to different emotions and behaviors.
For example, some common triggers for excessive or compulsive porn use can include: [4][5][6]
- Emotional or psychological triggers: Often, emotional changes can be very triggering for people with any type of addiction, including porn addiction. This can include negative emotions such as sadness, anxiety, fear, anger, or stress. Similarly, negative thought patterns about the self can also be a trigger, such as thoughts of past mistakes, not being good enough at work or for your partner, or believing you are not achieving your goals.
- Environmental triggers: People, places, or things can act as triggers, particularly if they are associated with past porn use or are considered sexually arousing. Additionally, events can be environmental triggers, including issues with interpersonal relationships, particularly regarding sexual performance and functioning.
- Behavioral or habitual triggers: Often, people with an addiction form habits that reinforce the addictive behaviors. People with porn addiction might have behavioral triggers for their porn use involving specific times of the day, such as when they arrive home from work or when they are bored and have nothing to do.
Stages of porn addiction relapse
Typically, porn addiction relapse will occur gradually over several weeks or months. Initial signs of a potential relapse might go unnoticed for some time but can progress through the three stages of addiction relapse; emotional, mental, and physical relapse. Learning how to recognize the signs of each stage of relapse can help you implement early prevention strategies. [7]
Stage 1: Emotional relapse
Emotional relapse involves changes in mood and mental well-being, which can include worsening feelings of sadness, anxiety, stress, anger, shame, or loneliness. Research shows that emotional dysregulation such as this is a common factor in porn addiction relapse. [3][7]
How to take care of your emotions
Regulating your emotions can help prevent this stage from worsening and developing into a full relapse. This can involve utilizing coping strategies and interventions such as: [1][4][7][8]
- Mindfulness techniques, such as yoga, meditation, and breathing exercises. These techniques can help reduce feelings of stress, improve awareness of physical and emotional sensations in the body, and reduce emotional distress.
- Engaging in healthy habits and self-care strategies, such as following a healthy diet, engaging in regular exercise, and maintaining a sleep schedule.
- Spending time with friends and family, with whom you can talk about emotional difficulties and engage in enjoyable and distracting activities.
- Speaking with a professional, such as a therapist, who can help you regulate your emotions and analyze triggers that lead to worsening emotional well-being.
Stage 2: Mental relapse
Mental relapse involves thoughts of returning to regular porn use, including fantasizing about or glamorizing past porn use despite negative consequences. During this stage, the individual may be in denial about their thoughts and might begin lying to loved ones about their urges or ideas. [7]
How to manage your thoughts
When you experience thoughts about returning to porn use, it can be beneficial to refer to a prevention plan to remind you of strategies and skills to help you manage. This might include: [1][2][4][6][9]
- Distraction techniques: Any activities or hobbies can be used as a distraction technique and might vary in effectiveness depending on the individual. This might include going for a run or walk, yoga or meditation, listening to music, reading a book, playing a game, or spending time with friends. By distracting yourself from the urge to use pornography, it is possible to overcome the craving and alter behaviors.
- Journaling or sharing thoughts: Writing about how you are feeling and the thoughts you are having about wanting to use porn can help reduce their intensity. This can also help you analyze specific situations to recognize your triggers and evaluate the effectiveness of any coping skills you utilize.
- Socializing: Spending time with friends can act as a distraction from cravings to use porn, while also being beneficial to mental and emotional well-being.
- Positive thinking: Positive thinking can include telling yourself positive affirmations, reminding yourself of your goals and motivations, listing things you are grateful for, or challenging negative self-beliefs to become positive. These skills can take time to practice and perfect but can be very helpful in reducing the impact of cravings and triggers.
- Being open with loved ones: It might feel daunting to talk with loved ones about thoughts of using porn, but being honest about your thoughts can prevent secrecy and feelings of shame, helping you manage and prevent relapse. Alternatively, you could speak to a professional or someone at a support group.
Stage 3: Physical relapse
Physical relapse involves actively returning to porn use. This might happen once or could involve a return to regular excessive and compulsive use. This stage can occur many days, weeks, or months after the initial signs emerge. [7]
Getting back on the path of recovery
Once relapse has occurred, it can feel challenging to return to recovery, but it is possible. At this stage, it may be crucial to: [1][6][7]
- Speak to a professional: Such as a therapist, who can help you manage your cravings as you return to abstinence, including any negative emotions and thoughts.
- Admit your setback: It is important to admit and acknowledge that you have relapsed, even if this is only to yourself, as this can be a crucial part of returning to recovery. You might find it helpful to speak with others about this as well. Many emotions are likely to arise during this process, which can be managed by acknowledging and accepting them and recognizing that they can be used as a positive influence to return to recovery.
- Remove temptations: Delete any porn off your computer or devices and throw away any magazines or other types of material that you have used to access porn. Having these things available to you can increase the risk of continuing with addictive behaviors and prevent you from returning to recovery.
- Reinstate healthy habits: Ensure that you are taking care of your physical and mental well-being, managing emotional distress with coping strategies, and engaging in healthy and enriching activities with your free time.
Signs a loved one has slipped back to pornography use
Supporting someone in porn addiction recovery can include helping them recognize signs of potential relapse or spotting when they are showing signs that they have already relapsed. Some signs that a loved one has returned to porn use can include: [2][5][6]
- Becoming angry, irritable, agitated, or aggressive when they are unable to access porn
- Denying or lying about using porn
- Becoming withdrawn or distant from friends and family
- Being secretive about their activities while alone
- Reduced sexual activity or attraction to a romantic partner
- Sexual dysfunction
- Issues with interpersonal or professional relationships and functioning
- Increasing issues with finances
- Becoming anhedonic; a reduced ability to feel or experience pleasure from previously enjoyable activities and hobbies
- Expressing guilt and shame
- Refusing to engage in conversations about their addiction with people they had previously confided in
Helping someone get back to recovery
Helping someone with a porn addiction relapse can be challenging as they may be likely to experience shame and guilt, which can prevent them from speaking openly to loved ones or professionals. You may be able to support them by:
- Being compassionate and non-judgmental when discussing their addiction or when they reach out to you for help
- Reminding them of their progress and motivations for porn addiction recovery
- Allowing them to speak about and acknowledge any negative emotions they are experiencing
- Encouraging or supporting them in returning to or starting professional treatment such as therapy
- Being available to talk or spend time together to help distract them from their thoughts and cravings
Reach out to a treatment provider
Although porn addiction is not an officially recognized diagnosis, it can be managed or treated in a similar manner to other addictions. This can include professional treatments such as: [1][2]
- Therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to reduce emotional distress, recognize and alter harmful thought patterns and behaviors, and learn coping skills
- Medications, such as antidepressants or anxiolytics to help reduce symptoms that might contribute to porn addiction, such as depression and anxiety
If you are looking for treatment options, you can find available providers through Recovered.
-guide-detail.jpg?v=1722501470)
-(2)-guide-detail.jpg?v=1722502970)